L.O.V.E-less Encounter??

Dear Diary,

I have been dying to blog this post throughout this week but my limited space and time has made me spend time otherwise watching videos and jotting notes for English/Psychology class.

Oh what to do???? I feel like those awkward moments where you secretly will meet a guy (blind date to be exact) actually two guys at once. 

What? You might ask but its true. The time has come for I have to reveal myself to two sought out bachelors (that I haven't even met but heard about). 

So what's the deal: That's simple I refuse to attend this sought after meeting because obviously they’re going to think I’m just there for the hook-up (and ummmm who would ever think that?). I am right now constantly going in overkill mode. I feel the weirdest ever since I have gotten the chance to meet such random strangers/cousins/friends cousins...yea you get the picture. 

My overlaid imagination is getting the best of me…what if their ugly/what if one ever turns out hot and I get nervous all of a sudden(its not like they are going to propose marriage but is nerve-racking nonetheless).

And this is all thanks to their mother who placed me in this weird position. Ahhhhh I feel like I’m such a dimwitted girl who is vulnerable all of a sudden. I’m giving my thoughts to much power, I know… I know. 

Ill see them at a Chinese restaurant the day after thanksgiving. Obviously SHE has constantly reminded me of how well crafted and dignified or crazy they are...I feel like I’m about to step in the lion’s lair (if you get what I mean).

 My past experiences have never gone that well...I feel like I’m cursed. Once I have high hopes of meeting this new guy, think that he will change and spin my life all around...BAHHH he shuts down or completely ignores me or tries to talk to me then disappears. Surely you’re not the only one with problems. 

But I must confess; one appears something that he is not supposed to be

(It’s like one of those famous phrases from Shakespeare: To be or not to be). I know it’s the 21 century but c’mmon hes in his mid 20’s and no GF??? AS IF

My instinct tells me WARNING:Gay 

Yes it might sound evil but it’s true. 

The other one is to party-playboy for my taste, something tells me something is not right. I’ll disappear in the table, faking that I’m cool and amused with what they have to say.

 I have a weird problem of maintaining eye contact, since that type of contact is too powerful yet you feel exposed that anybody can read your thoughts.

My Sought-After Reaction

With this done and said, what do you think? Should I forget this altogether? Relinquish these thoughts once and forever. Desperately become single all my life? Believe in love no more and be bound in shackles for all that done and said?

Leave me a message or interesting response. I can’t wait for somebody to save me from this uncertainty. Peace and Love

Attentively,